Gleanings : : Whirligig Mom . Yard Sale . That Friend . Overlooked . Joni

100 Ways You Know You're a Mom
'I’ve learned three things about motherhood in the last seven years.  Motherhood is hard.  Motherhood is glorious.  And motherhood is hard.  Nothing.  Nothing can properly capture a window into a mother’s world.  So much magic, so much mundane, so much heartache.  But this is my little attempt to keep track of the whirligig of wonder that makes up any mother’s days.  And nights.  And years...'

12 Smart Tips For Holding a Successful Yard Sale
'How to Turn Cast-Offs Into Cash - If Country Living contributing editor Christina Lane could give you only one piece of advice, it would be this: Presentation is everything. "Tossing objects in a haphazard heap ensures they'll be viewed as junk," Lane says. "Display them with care, and people will ..."'

what seems to help in the midst of pain
'when we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand.  the friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares ...'

In which they are overlooked in a sea of hipsters
'My sister’s husband recently graduated from university.  Between working full-time and being a wonderful father to my two little nieces, it was a busy and arduous road to complete his education.  We’re very proud of his perseverance.  Among all of the young people, I felt rather middle-aged at his convocation.  I got married one week after my own university graduation, quite convinced of my maturity, and yet these kids looked like they belonged in junior high to me.  Babies!  in caps and gowns!  setting off on adventures, no doubt.  In a sea of shiny young people, I suddenly found tears in my eyes for the older ones among them ...'

Joni Eareckson Tada Talks About Her Cancer

Everything's Backwards

"You pretend to have the inside track.

You shut God out and work behind the scenes,

Plotting the future as if you knew everything,

acting mysterious, never showing your hand.

You have everything backwards!

You treat the Potter as a lump of clay.

Does a book say to its author,

'He didn't write a word of me'?

Does a meal say to the woman who cooked it,

'she had nothing to do with this'?"

~ ~  Isaiah 29:15-16 {The Message} ~ ~



Sisters Crooning Off-Key

We grew up side by side way back in the 50s, the 60s.

In the church, week in week out.

Sunday morning, Sunday evening.  And one afternoon a week for Pioneer Girls.

Let me tell you we knew every verse of every hymn and chorus that ever was written.

Each and every one.

Deep into our souls they settled, where the truths and the melodies made permanent impressions.

We headed into those sometimes volatile teenage years, very different in every way imaginable.

And in addition to Sunday morning and Sunday evening and Pioneer Girls came Youth Group.

And 77am WABC on the dials of our cute little transistor radios.  And Top 40's tunes and words were added to our ever increasing repertoire.

Here we are in our 50s these days, she and I, still different as night and day.  And at any given moment on absolutely any occasion, one can turn and just look at the other ...

And we begin to croon every verse to any and every song that pops into either one of our feeble brains.  Totally silly.  Never seriously.  Hymns, choruses, top 40 music from back in the day.

In perfect harmony.

{We'd like to think!}

Our families roll their eyes and quickly head in the other direction 'cause it sounds so bad.

But we don't care.

This is part of our legacy we leave.

I hope we grow old together, singing sweet, slightly out of key, off beat music on some beach somewhere, sweatshirt wrapped and huddled in ratty old blankets, lobster rolls clutched in our vein-lined, shaky old hands.

Here's to my sister!  Long may we croon!

The Gift of Retreat-ing

'One has only to sit down in the woods or the fields, or by the shore of the river or the lake, and nearly everything of interest will come round to him ...'
- Burroughs



There is an art to retreat-ing. 

No, no ... not those good-time weekend events jammed to the gills with fellowship and teaching and non-stop activity.  Or those huge conferences with thousands of attendees, the schedule packed with seemingly endless seminars and meetings from dawn til midnight that leave us wiped out and exhausted and wishing we had just simply stayed home.

I'm talking about removing ourselves from life's mainstream, the endless hustle, the craziness that defines schedules and fills every last little square on great big calendars.  To come apart, to set ourselves apart. 

Before we fall apart.

I love that Jesus showed us how to do this.  I can just picture Him hiking up a rugged mountainside to pray in the stillness that surrounded Him like a soft cocoon.  Or pushing offshore in a borrowed boat, heading to an abandoned cove where gentle waves soothed and cradled His weariness.  All while the throngs continued to gather, wanting to somehow grab ahold of a piece of Him, desiring a miracle or a meal or a message of hope.  But He had to be about His Father's business.  And to discover the costly, complex intricacies of those plans and repeatedly regain the supernatural strength to see them through, He had to pull away from all that grabbed at Him.  And be in secret with the One from whom all blessings flowed. 

Often.

I'd be fairly sure that there were followers who didn't get it, this need to come apart, these refueling moments, the yen for solitude and silence.  But He was not to be deterred.  He knew the call on His life would demand every last ounce of who He was.  He knew where His strength and discernment flowed from, where to refill His well with the desperately needed living water.  And so He chose to retreat away from those who needed His attention.  But only for a time.

He always returned to the ones He loved.

For us today it might simply be an old lawn chair in the backyard or a wooden park bench tucked away in a seldom spotted nook.  A cozy perch streamside.  On mountaintop grand.  Or the softness of a secret hidden dune of sand.  A couple of hours, a couple of days.  Whatever, wherever.  The point is this: retreat-ing is good medicine for exhausted, spent bodies.  For minds that have way too much jumbled up inside.  And for our souls, that very essence of our beings, the dryness there reflecting the depletion that threatens to undo us.

That endlessly buzzing, ringing, vibrating phone gets turned off.  You begin to savor and explore the compelling invitation of what silence offers.  There might be a long, desperately needed nap and some good food to savor and re-sustain.  You might read or write or pray or walk.  A wellworn Bible, a trusty journal, the old binoculars, a handy camera, a treasured volume may keep you company.  Or absolutely nothing accompanies you except the rich, glorious fullness of His precious presence, emerging from the stillness that begins to envelop you.  A holy revitalization.  Sacred moments that awaken and heal and transform all that defines who you are. 

The invitation stands.  'Come to Me you who are weary and heavy laden, and I will give you rest ...'



Retreat-ing ~

= linked to Gail's 1-Minute Bible Love Notes & Laura's Playdates with God

The Professional Office ~ 7 Nuts & Bolts

No two ways about it, I am blessed with the most wonderful office space! 

Thanks to the generosity of Bob and Dot Eckler in whose home Creekside Ministries resides, I enjoy floor-to-ceiling windows overlooking a bubbling fountain, always-busy bird feeders, and a rolling green hill that leads down to the Wappingers Creek.  {Hence, our name!}  A wall of shelves houses books, collectibles that make me smile, and framed photos.  Comfy gliders and a few other pieces of furniture fill this space and a gorgeous handcrafted quilt resides on the wall.  I've worked hard over the years to design a pastoral counseling office that's warmly personal, quiet, and relaxing.

For my clients.  For me. 

Yet for the life of me, I can't remember reading anything about de-cluttering and organizing professional office spaces.  And yet, this room's components are important because it's not all about me.  It's about how people feel and what they experience when stepping foot through that door.  Is it a serene and welcoming space, free of clutter and piles and junk?  After all, many who enter are already carrying enough stuff in hearts and minds.  They don't need be visually overwhelmed or assaulted, they need to feel safe and be soothed as they settle in for an appointment.

Not long ago I penned a few paragraphs {in all of about 300 seconds!} on reorganizing the counseling office.  Here's a 7 nuts and bolts follow up:

1.   BOOKS
I love books.  And for a long time I saved every book I ever bought, ever received, ever stumbled upon.  The feel of them in my hands, the smell of them, the hours savored with them.   Everything about them spoke comfort, knowledge, nurturance, enjoyment to me.

But you know ... enough can be enough.  Over time the shelves got jam packed and when I actually stopped long enough to really see what was all there, I knew they didn't need to be all there anymore.  So ... good-bye to volumes I've never opened that hold no interest to me now.  Farewell to books and professional journals that I did read that I wouldn't bother looking at again, and to volumes back from 20, 30 years ago that I bought for school or have long run their course.  Bagged, shared, donated, sold.  They are going, going, gone.

2.   NOTEBOOKS

These big ol' metal-ringed binders are books' cumbersome cousins.  And I had accumulated stacks of these space gobblers from every class I ever took, every conference I ever attended, every seminar I ever sat through.  Did keeping all these three-ringed babies somehow make me feel smarter or more accomplished?  Or did I feel guilty giving them the heave-ho since they represented so much money and time invested in education? 

Doesn't matter.  I pulled out the info that was worth saving {surprisingly little}, and threw the rest in a huge garbage bag which I hauled out the door with great glee. 

3.   CLIPPINGS & BROCHURES 
For a long time, I clipped every magazine/journal/newspaper article and grabbed every brochure I ever came across that was remotely related to counseling, coaching, ministry, or leadership.  I had quite the file drawer filled with what was probably very worthwhile material at one point.  Problem was that I seldom if ever went back and glanced at them a second time.

Fast forward to 2013.  Everything I need is online.  Period.  These files are all heading out the door, one manila five tab at a time.  I'll never miss them.  And I'm gaining another file drawer in the process.

4.   EMBRACING TECHNOLOGY
We're using DVDs now and all kinds of techno stuff online.  The VCR tapes are history and are out of there.  When it comes to soul-soothing background music, Pandora has saved the day.  The CD player is long gone and the stacks of old CDs are headed out the door to be donated or sold.

5.   A VANILLA CANDLE
Unless it's just plain too hot, a candle faithfully burns on the coffee table in front of our chairs. The scent speaks nurturance and comfort.  The flame is symbolic of the Holy Spirit's presence and activity during these pastoral counseling sessions. 

6.   PLANTS
Beautiful green plants and lovely flowers speak of vibrant life and healthy growth.  If something in the pot has lost it's vigor and bloom, in the trash it goes.

7.  THE SHREDDER
What can I say?  A good paper shredder is one of an office's best friends.

This all works for me.  And based on what my clients tell me, it's a space that's working for them. 

Gleanings : : Media Overload . Kids' Cash . Gluttons . Sex Stats

Enlightening reading here in this week's Gleanings ...

When to Take a Social Media Step Back
'When this thing called social media came around, we didn’t get a manual.  We weren’t equipped for how life would require we engage in it or be sorely left behind…how the rules would be left up to our own discrepancy and that sometimes, our better judgement ...'

'Pinterest stress' afflicts nearly half of moms, survey says
'For many moms, social media is both a blessing and a curse.  We go to sites like Pinterest and Facebook for connection and inspiration – but all too often, the beautiful images of domestic harmony make us feel inadequate.  In our exclusive TODAY Moms survey of 7,000 U.S. mothers, 42 percent said that they sometimes suffer from Pinterest stress – the worry that they’re not crafty or creative enough.  Symptoms include staying up until 3 a.m. clicking through photos of exquisite hand-made birthday party favors even though you’ll end up buying yours at the dollar store, or sobbing quietly into a burnt mess of ...'

Teaching Young Children to Manage Money
'Some of us were raised in homes where financial responsibility was modeled, but others of us have had to learn the hard way.  If we want our children to start learning some of the financial principles that we may not have grasped until we were adults, it’s best to begin before bad habits become ingrained!  Here are a few basic guidelines for the journey ...'

The Socially Acceptable Sin
'Most Christians today like to say that all sins are “equal” in the eyes of God, that there is no scale of less or worse sins, that a white lie or a homicide alike would have been enough to require Christ to die on the cross.  We say this in theory, but in practice, we know that a white lie won’t get you kicked off the church leadership team.  And a homicide likely will.  In practice, there are some sins that are socially acceptable, even in the Church.  There’s one sin in particular that has pervaded our society and churches so silently we hardly give it a second thought, and that is the constant hunt for more over what is enough.  Or, in an uglier terminology, what is known as gluttony ...'

The Sex Lives of Unmarried Evangelicals
'80 percent of young unmarried evangelicals have had sex?  Really? ...'

* linking up with my counseling/coaching/blogging buddy, Beth

Bronze Sandals

 

'Your sandals shall be iron and bronze;
As your days, so shall your strength be.

 

There is no one like the God of Jeshurun,
Who rides the heavens to help you,
And in His excellency on the clouds.

The eternal God is your refuge,
And underneath are the everlasting arms'

Deuteronomy 33:25-27 {NKJV}.